microsoft windows

[Fragalot]

i find these quotes funny
but the images first, those are fun aswell

Is Windows a virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
They replicate quickly Okay, Windows does that

Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so okay, Windows does that

Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk Okay, Windows does that, too

Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems Sigh... Windows does that, too

Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware Yup, that's with Windows, too

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature

So, Windows is *not* a virus

Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone
with his success. He decided to measure the accomplishments
of Microsoft against General Motors. The comparison went
like this:
If automotive technology had kept pace with computer
technology over the past few decades, you would now be
driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top
speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an
economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles
to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a
new car would be less than $50.
In response to all this goading, GM responds "Yes, but
would you really want to drive a car that crashes twice a
day?

FACTS
1- In a world without wall and fences, who needs windows and gates?
2- Disasters of our century: Hiroshima '45, Cernobyl '87, Windows '95.

Old lady
An obviously clueless lady called in to a talk radio show and asked, "Do I need, um, a computer to use Windows 95?"

The host's response was perfect: "You'll have less trouble with Windows 95 without a computer than with one."

Idiot's Guide to Windows 95 - Dictionary
Multitasking

You can crash several programs all at once. No waiting!

Built-in Networking

You can crash several PC's all at once. No need to buy Novell Personal Netware or LANtastic to crash.

Microsoft Network

Connect with other Windows 95 users and talk about your crash experiences. Support groups in different cities will be organized.

PnP

Plug and Pray (that it works)

Multimedia

Experience the immense sight and sound of crashing. Compatible with existing software It will also crash your existing software.

Increased Productivity

You will need to *increase* your budget to buy more *products* like RAM and HardDrives. Better yet, get a new computer ! That's product-ivity.

User-Friendly

Picture of clouds

State of the Art

Pay for Bill's next bid for a work of art.

MacIntosh-like

It took Microsoft eleven years and it's not even original.

Online Registration

Dial into Microsoft and let them snoop around your harddrive. This will guarantee you a place in Microsoft's files for the rest of your life.

MS Plus

More money for Bill's plus side.

Optimize

It will increase the utilization of your hard drive and cpu so much so that you'll end up upgrading your system.

More Gates Evil

The real name of Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where ``III'' means the order of third (obviously).

By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his III or adding 3, you get the following:

B I L L G A T E S (III)
66+73+76+76+71+65+84+69+83+3 = 666

Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Coincidence? Orjust the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement? You decide!


(The numbers are obtained by translating each character (letter, number, space, etc.) into its corresponding ASCII value.) It looks like well-known OS's fall into the same category:

M S - D O S 6 . 2 1
77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666

W I N D O W S 9 5
87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1 = 666

Coincidence? I think not!

all worth reading (btw, last one... you gotta think of calculating that :s jeez)

[SpawnDemon]

Thats why I use a heavily modded MAC g5! Yea thats right I said MAC. I've got a macbook pro I'll prolly be taking to Ukraine with me! Got a problem?

[wasahobo]

Ive never had a problem with Windows before. I base everything on this theory.

"Its not the tools that makes the Craftman mess up, its the Craftman not knowing what he is doing"

Plus i really really really HATE macs, i dont know why, maybe its because of the goofy one mouse button. Maybe its that all the games you can play on it came out 10 years ago, or maybe its because my college art teacher thinks a mac can do anything and i really just dont like my teacher LOL.

lol idk could be anything

[Fragalot]

i find linux to be the best out on the field...

[Sean]

I agree Linux is the best but is not good for designing etc. Linux is by far the best OS for web hosting.

Fragalot that is some funny **** lol

[Fragalot]

tought so

thanks

[wasahobo]

O BTW fraggy, im gonna have to ban you for a few months so i can get more posts than you LOL

[Fragalot]

oh, ok.